Okay. I've missed three months. Blasphemy, I know.

....my bad.

If it makes you feel any better I've been flustered w/ activity.
flustered good word.

Being the resident chicken critic I feel that you should know the the chicken selects from Mc Donalds suck.
They also swallow, spit, chew, an' regurgitate.
I never win anything from them and today I got three pieces from a five piece box.

The rest of the post will be filled w/ questions for you to ponder 'til my next post.

DOES ANYONE HAVE BOARDWALK?

Why are there brailes on the drive-up atm?

Does an elevator smell different to a vertically challenged person?

If 7 Eleven is supposed to be open 24hrs. a day, why are there locks on the door?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Why are you dating him?

Anybody wanna donate a brand new copy of GTA: San Andreas to me?

How 'bout the DVD boxed set of The Critic?

How is it possible that I've lost 20lbs. over the past few months and have my stomach grow bigger?

Probably twins huh?

Are you actually still reading?

Do the questions help with your personal edification?

You're probably just waiting for the random quote huh?

Why doesn't anyone want to hire me?

Did they stop producing my ghetto champagne Andre Mimosa?

Does "Vote or Die" sound stupid to anyone else or is that just me?

Why?

Do you know what happened a year ago from today?

If you prick us do we not bleed?

Anybody know how I can get a free Corgi?

Do you know where your kids are?

Heard any good jokes lately?

How's life?

The Random Quote:
"GDE!!!" - don't ask

I need to get a post in for the month of July.

.....

Sandee got me pregnant.
Girlfriend= loss of metabolism. Not a coincidence
Somewhere deep down inside me is the 4-pack from high school.
Kylie Minogue has some great abs huh?

The Random Quote:
"Once you've seen a woman's O-face, you've seen her soul." -Niptuck

So technically I turned 22 yesterday, i.e. one year closer to my death.
Same ol' low key b-day celebration.
No shout-outs, no phone calls, no cards, no presents, and no b-day parties to show everyone my g/f an' prove that I'm not homosexual.
To those that are wondering: no, Sandee is not a cover.
People either forgot or didn't care. My inner-optomist tells me that most people didn't remember, sorta like the majority of my family.

If I sound somewhat bitter, I am.
Mostly because I woke up this morning and realized that I am Ryan's (my younger brother) bitch. Had to drive him to his SAT testing this morning. Not because he was polite an' asked me. Nor because he was sneaky and offered to get me some hot chocolate from Starbucks for my bday an' yell "Surprise! You have to drive me to Rancho Bernardo now." Nope.
"You're drivin' me to Rancho Bernardo Saturday because you're my bitch."
Shit.
This is a guy who refuses to get his driver license because he know he has a bitch. A bitch to drive him to the mall, his friend's house, prom, the bunny ranch, drive-by shootings, you get the idea.

Now hopefully you've realized that I've been joking up to this point.
At least the part 'bout being Ryan's bitch.
But since we're on the topic of driving....

I remember reading a study that showed that men are more likely to give directions with landmarks while women are savvy to using streetnames and whatnot.
I tend to agree with those findings because I'm like that most of the time.
Okay. You're gonna start off by heading down the road an' passing 'bout three stoplights. Now you're gonna be looking for the mangled tree. Not the one that was struck by lightning, but the one that was used for ritualistic sacrifices back in the 1800s. When you find it, make a left. Eventually you'll see a blind man. You'll know he's blind because when you give him a dollar he'll smile instead of flicking you off. Turn right an' keep following that road until you see a leprechaun. Now push him out of the way, steal his pot of gold, an' take a piss on where he was standing. Doin' this pushes a secret button which grants you access to a mystical tunnel that'll take you to where you wanted to be in the first place. Which would've been a whole lot easier if you just used mapquest.

A bit much, but you get the idea.
If there was a point to this post, that was lost a long time ago.

The Random Quote:
"I am nobody's bitch." - Jet Li from the film The One

Headed to an audition tonight.
"Subject to change"
The all-student produced summer musical production at Palomar. For those that remember correctly, the one I'm doin' publicity for.

The following is the monologue I'll be using. Please excuse the horrible grammar.

Naked Women

Lesbian spank inferno, how can I possbily enjoy a film like that? Oh! Because it has naked women in it! Look I enjoy naked women. I'm a guy we're supposed to like women. We're born like that! We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one: halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view.
Look it's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, sports, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that's what being a guy is.
If you don't like it darling, go join a film collective.
And let it be known that the wonderbra is a horrible invention for the insane amount of false advertising found in our world.
Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with woman at the end of the table, but that does not stop me from wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that's what being a guy is.
When man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said "Great! Now we can look at naked bottoms in the dark!" As soon as the printing press was invented, we're using it to print pictures of, hey! Naked Bottoms! We have turned the internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms.
So you see, the story of male achievement throught the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been a story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Thank you ladies, I'm not sure how insulted you ought to be.

And I'm usin' Hellogoodbye's "Dear Jamie" to sample my voice.
Gonna be "breaking some legs" tonight.

The Random Quote:
"This whole thing is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery! It's a traveshamockery!" - Miller Lite delegate

So yea, the 2 year anniversary of when Sandee and I started dating was last thursday.
We're april fools.
Cheesiness aside, we went and saw Varekai over at Qualcomm stadium to celebrate.

Go watch it.
Mortgage your house, sacrifice some children, do whatever it takes to go watch it before its run ends.

I guess you can say I enjoyed it.
Ended up clapping so much during the performance my arms got tired.
It's amazing seeing the things these people do in person.
To describe in a word: wow.
And the spotlights...

The Random Quote:
"You know what I like 'bout you? My arms." -anonymous

Sweet heavenly biscuits!
I almost forgot to get a post in for the month of March.

It's been safe to say my month has been full of madness.
For those that "missed" the last production I was a part of, you missed out on a great epic and a visual explanation of why I've been MIA from your lives.
Clicking here will get you more info an' a slideshow to The Caucasian Chalk Circle or C Cubed if you'd like.

The Random Quote:
"A true friend stabs you in the front." - Thoreau(?)

Breaking the one post per month thing I had going for awhile to bring you some random thoughts.

License plate holders/bumper stickers I'd like to put on my car:
-Honk cuz I'm narcoleptec
-I'd rather be sleeping
-In different languages, "Who's your daddy?"
-How's life?

Life's great, but it could be a bit more MARvelous.
I want the soundtrack to 50 First Dates
A live action Winnie the Pooh would be good fun. A grizzly bear wearing a red t-shirt.... yup.
Anybody ever grope Mickey to make sure that it is a guy inside the costume?
I've got two mice as roomates now and two cats that don't do anything about it.
Need to figure out how to strengthen my knees by March 5th(opening night)
In case you haven't heard, I can't send/receive text messages. My ancient cellphone has issues. Meaning I can't be a communication whore like my younger brother.

The Random Quote:
"I'LL KILL YOU! YOU BITCH!!!"- one of many fun lines in Caucasian Chalk Circle

Apparently there's been people checking this page out lately.
.....
At least I'm almost getting a post a month.
So yea, I'm drawing a blank in regards to "neat" gift ideas.
All of my creativity's been tapped on my current theatre projects.

Project One: Untitled Summer Production
I've been recruited. Written, produced, directed, and performed by the students w/ full faculty support. Should be a musical of good fun proportions. At least the development sessions have been so far. We've got a talented core group, but could use another well-rounded choreographer. Know anybody? Drop me a line.

Project Two: Caucasian Chalk Circle
A thought provoking play written by Brecht. The title alone should be enough to make you want to watch it. Or at the least, make you wake up in the middle of the night w/ cold sweats. It should haunt your dreams, and your thoughts as you go through your everyday life. The anticipation for this production should be building up inside you to riot-inducing proportions because it IS that good. A two act play of epic scope that is guaranteed to be good fun. Guaranteed because I've been heavily involved in the creation of music for the show, I've helped to build the set, gonna help w/ the make-up, and because I'm part of the quality ensemble. Early March, go watch it. Because I'm throwing alot into this production and you need culture in your life.

Hmm.... just realized I'm the only person in my Greek family that keeps it OG w/ the glasses now.....
WHY?! WHHHHHYYYY?! DAMN YOU CRUEL WORLD!!!
I've still got mad love for my contact wearing lils though.

The Random Quote:
"I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts....but I can't stop eating peanuts.-Orson Welles

Just a bunch of random observations following a trip to Disneyland the past weekend.

-In the park the, trash cans say waste please. Outside in the parking lot, the trash cans say waste paper. What exactly is Disney trying to tell our youths here?
-Disney's winter parade keep repeating the same song for every segment of the parade. Great for people w/ ADD but it left everyone else screaming "thank God!" whenever they played a familiar holiday theme instead.
-Mr. Claus was at the back of the parade w/ three hot helpers holding the rope to keep the masses (mainly male) behind them. This would probably explain why Mrs. Claus was at the front of the parade. Ahh, the life lessons we learn from Disneyland.
-Part of the parade included Beauty & the Beast, still in beast form. At the end of the movie doesn't he get changed back into a human? Sorta sucks that they curse him again just so he can get some work.
-The dancers in the parade looked happy on the outside, but were probably miserable on the inside. Most likely because they have to run back to the end of the line and change costumes.
-Pluto was disgruntled that day, ran away from the kids, good fun.
-Always wanted to work the Jungle Cruise. For best results, ride when it's nearing their lunchbreak, extra sarcasm. Ever see anybody put the cap gun to their head? I did.
-I want to work for Disney to make a penguin character mainstream.
-They DO have funnel cake.

Fun things to do at Disneyland:
-Get your entourage together at EVERY churro stand and like a chorus say:"Mmmm.... churros."
-When someone's posing for a picture, take a picture of them also, smile, then walk away.
-Take pictures w/ the food vendors, the costume people get too much love.
-Get Fast passes for all the rides before you leave. Free souvenirs!

The Random Quote:
"Where's my dinner?"- Pleasantville